News Haiku: Owed to Tony Hayward

Tony Hayward’s gone
With twenty million dollars
He can suck my gulf

News Haiku: Snooki Tawdry

Miss Snooki is back
Minus her hair poofy thing
But she’s still trashy

- Posted by News Distillery intern Gideon

News in the Name: Shirley Sherrod

1.

Seemed
Her
Incendiary
Remarks
Left
Employees
Yelling.

2.

Seems
Her
Edited
Race
Relations
Observations
Didn’t.

Come See Us Live

If you like the blog, you’ll love the live shows. We have one more show coming up, Thursday July 29 at 92YTribeca.

If you were there last night, you were able to enjoy a veritable festival of cleavage, as comedian Chuck Nice shared his thoughts on this week’s groundbreaking interview of Snooki by Meghan McCain.

News Haikus Live

From last night’s “News Distillery Live @ 92Y Tribeca“:

A Haiku to BP
Tell me a Secret.
How much black stuff was leaking?
You lying bastard!
- Chuck Nice

N.A.A.C.P.
Declares: Tea Party racist,
Water wet, fire hot.
- Randy Cohen

“Secrets” sequel soon
hits shelves. Its title, simply,
“Crap Oprah Will Like.”
- Brian Donovan

Oh those balls…of tar
Washed up on five diff’rent states
Oil capped…bye bye balls.
- Gideon Evans

Extreme Close Up

This is an extreme close-up of an image taken from this week’s news.  To identify the picture, please leave your answer on our comment page.

(For answer, follow link)

See the News Distillery Live at 92Y, July 15 & 29

NeoCoin: What happens in Nevada…

Obtuse Angle (n):  Running for Senate on a platform of blaming the unemployed for unemployment.

Neocoin: As Heard on C-Span

Nomina nomina nomina (interjection):  Stammering that allows a supreme court nominee to avoid a real answer while trying to think of what to say.

News Haiku: It’s Always Something

Wall Street reform hopes
Lying broken on the ground
Like a fallen Byrd

The Photo CNN Chose Not To Go With